I know I’m terribly abused here.  Every time I leave, I realize how badly I needed to get away.  Not long after leaving the grounds I come to my senses, and begin to see with a little more clarity.  I wake up to my rights in some way and realize what I’ve missed.  I question…

It’s been quite a while.  I don’t know why it’s taken so long to write, especially since I rather liked what I’d written before… I’ve thought of a few things in the intervening time.  Poignantly, I thought to myself, after laughing lightheartedly and enjoying a rather tender moment, that even in these tender moments I…

It’s a little late at night – not too late, but… relatively late. There’s noise in the next room over.  I wonder whether it’s tied to the events of the day and my mind turns a little.  I think, perhaps it is, but, I shouldn’t be concerned with these things. I thought today that I…

I thought earlier of sharing this website with one close to me, but I’ve since pulled back – at least for now. I was contacted earlier by a close friend, and my response was rather cheerful.  The friend enquired how I was, and I communicated how things were “on the up and up” and that…

I feel a little lonely at the moment.  It’s strange being so far away from those that are closest to me, that provide me with a sense of self and some stability.  I see and remember myself and who I am partly through their eyes, and their expectations of me, which has I suppose been…

I should get down do it. Really, there isn’t too much pressing at the moment, but there is a fair bit of work looming on the horizon.  I’ll get it done in good time, although I may drag my ass I suppose.  I’m tired of giving over so much of myself, and I know… or…

I wonder if I’m allowed to say such things… [In response to previous title] I thought earlier about sharing my website with a few close friends, but I wonder how that might alter the trajectory of this project.  To be free, or to simply say outrageous things… that’s not entirely the goal. By the way,…

Manic – I’m a little… yes… fucking manic.  I can’t say who I am, and I wonder how that question even enters or becomes liminal. There are still things I can’t say here, which is a G-ddamned shame.  It’s a little poignant as well, and maybe something of a social comment.  I’m prevented from saying…

It’s about time that I get down to it… and begin to productive… set myself up for the week and ease a transition to those sweet two days of relative freedom. I need to calm myself somewhat.  I’ve always been troubled, and when thinking about that fact today early on, it helped to ease my…

Carrying on, counting down the days – soon I’ll be out of here, and thankful to be done. I wonder if I’m not spending too much time here.  If I’m not giving good years of my life to some unfeeling monster once again.  I’m getting older and I see it everyday. “Name your price” I…

I once saw myself as a world historical individual – fated to be a world historical individual.  I think now on whether I’ll die alone.  I wonder how the change happened – I really do.  I thought all the stars were aligned for me to be something great.  I thought to myself before, whether a…

It’s a little late – not terribly late. I think – everyone has a story to tell, and I wonder if I’m self absorbed writing here.  I wonder what the project is… Originally the project was to be honest, to have an outlet, to write for an unknown audience, and simply speak… to attempt to…

The day wags on.  Back into the swing of things.  I was nearly manic last week – things were going quite well.  I’ve hit something of a stumbling block and it seems everything rubs me the wrong way.  I don’t feel particularly confident in the moment – maybe that’s it.  I suppose things really aren’t…

One more day and the restlessness grows… restlessness and anxiety.  I think about whittling down the remaining time here, and when I’ll be free.  I’m nervous about the approaching week.  I question my base of knowledge and competency, and my ability to bring forth and communicate the curriculum.  There are perhaps rather mundane matters a…