I thought earlier of sharing this website with one close to me, but I’ve since pulled back – at least for now.
I was contacted earlier by a close friend, and my response was rather cheerful. The friend enquired how I was, and I communicated how things were “on the up and up” and that I was more comfortable in my position. I haven’t heard from this friend since, and I think it’s peculiar. I wonder if they love me in my misery, if I’m only a good friend when we can share our misery.
I think, more charitably, my friend was simply at a loss for words and now felt quite awkward. I wonder if I’ve left him room to respond; if he’s not ashamed of his current station or the apparent lack of movement in his life. Could I have asked him: “How are your troubles?”.
I remember Aristotle’s writings on friendship, and how he states that two friends must drive eachother’s greatness. I am fearful of my friend in this regard, thinking that he might love me in my misery, or that he enjoys the times when we lament our own positions, curse the world and share our sorrow.
I am so fucking drained of energy at the moment.