Posts by Anaxagoras

Cave Dweller

Another early morning post. What thoughts are coursing through my head, stirring around?  I usually try to keep things steady in the morning, and clam.  Keep my mind like a mirror, like the reflective surface of water when its undisturbed. To be literary was always somewhat painful.  To write with intention I found painful.  Contorting…

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Thoughts 2018.02.20

I know I don’t really enjoy this, but I continue on.  Out of some quite desperation – I’m not exactly sure. I’ve said it before – things aren’t exactly bad, but I do think of my life slipping away from me. I don’t why I always come here to write such melancholy things – I…

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A Little Listless

I enjoy my freedom, but I rarely know how to use my time.  If I could, I suppose I’d like to indulge and give myself over to all sorts of libidinal excess.  Narcotization isn’t so much a numbing or a stupefying, as the etymological origins of the word might suggest.  Rather, it’s a release and…

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Gargantua

The hosting company that I used has it stipulated that they have the right to terminate the contract if it is found that the site contains written word of a sexual nature. I wanted to see if I could say the word “cunt” here, or if I could quote a passage form Henry Miller or…

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Whereto, Whither?

I know this isn’t a good place for me, and I think once again about leaving.  I think of breaking a contract and starting somewhere else.  It’s a lack of options I suppose that keeps me here, and the feeling that in some way, I might be on track to a life that is more…

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A Few Moments of Indecision

I thought yesterday that I’ve perhaps traded deep melancholy for toil – for the drudgery of a day-to-day.  I thought to myself that if I now suffer less, it’s may not be because my life is comparably better, but rather, that I’ve found a way to turn or orient myself to future… some distant date…

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A Few Words Quietly Typed Out

A few words quietly typed out – I struggle to find my place, find clarity. I wonder where I am sometimes. It’s strange to steal away these few moments, furtively typing on this machine for no one. Isolation is at times tremendous, and all the more curious, I’m sometimes left unaffected by this. The strangest…

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A Whore’s Life

Giving oneself over to something less than ideal.  Through a thousand little pinpricks, a thousand tiny humiliations and thousand compromises, I’ve landed myself here.  The work is enervating and would soon leave me soulless.  A lack of reflection, a lack depth and subtly.  Appearance is more important than reality it often seems.  China is the…

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Untitled 2017.06.29

I used to write out of an inner need, out of compulsion. Now I hesitate to write, because I feel there are some things that I should keep silent – some things I don’t want to unearth. It’s the straight and narrow, single-mindedness. I feel the last few years of my life have been in some…

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