Uncategorized

Vespers

I feel a little lonely at the moment.  It’s strange being so far away from those that are closest to me, that provide me with a sense of self and some stability.  I see and remember myself and who I am partly through their eyes, and their expectations of me, which has I suppose been…

Read More

Reminiscing

I should get down do it. Really, there isn’t too much pressing at the moment, but there is a fair bit of work looming on the horizon.  I’ll get it done in good time, although I may drag my ass I suppose.  I’m tired of giving over so much of myself, and I know… or…

Read More

A Rather Aimless Post

I wonder if I’m allowed to say such things… [In response to previous title] I thought earlier about sharing my website with a few close friends, but I wonder how that might alter the trajectory of this project.  To be free, or to simply say outrageous things… that’s not entirely the goal. By the way,…

Read More

Searchin’

It’s about time that I get down to it… and begin to productive… set myself up for the week and ease a transition to those sweet two days of relative freedom. I need to calm myself somewhat.  I’ve always been troubled, and when thinking about that fact today early on, it helped to ease my…

Read More

A Little Update

Carrying on, counting down the days – soon I’ll be out of here, and thankful to be done. I wonder if I’m not spending too much time here.  If I’m not giving good years of my life to some unfeeling monster once again.  I’m getting older and I see it everyday. “Name your price” I…

Read More

Dear Brothers

I once saw myself as a world historical individual – fated to be a world historical individual.  I think now on whether I’ll die alone.  I wonder how the change happened – I really do.  I thought all the stars were aligned for me to be something great.  I thought to myself before, whether a…

Read More

Some Thoughts at Night

It’s a little late – not terribly late. I think – everyone has a story to tell, and I wonder if I’m self absorbed writing here.  I wonder what the project is… Originally the project was to be honest, to have an outlet, to write for an unknown audience, and simply speak… to attempt to…

Read More

The Day Wags On

The day wags on.  Back into the swing of things.  I was nearly manic last week – things were going quite well.  I’ve hit something of a stumbling block and it seems everything rubs me the wrong way.  I don’t feel particularly confident in the moment – maybe that’s it.  I suppose things really aren’t…

Read More

One More Day

One more day and the restlessness grows… restlessness and anxiety.  I think about whittling down the remaining time here, and when I’ll be free.  I’m nervous about the approaching week.  I question my base of knowledge and competency, and my ability to bring forth and communicate the curriculum.  There are perhaps rather mundane matters a…

Read More

Cave Dweller

Another early morning post. What thoughts are coursing through my head, stirring around?  I usually try to keep things steady in the morning, and clam.  Keep my mind like a mirror, like the reflective surface of water when its undisturbed. To be literary was always somewhat painful.  To write with intention I found painful.  Contorting…

Read More