I’m Happy to Have a Blog

I’m happy to have a place where I can write, a forum where I can reveal myself and open up my thoughts to the world.

At the same time, I’m worried about how I may internalize expectations.  Writing before any audience, even an imagined audience, I can imagine myself conforming to expectations.  I think of who I’d like to be – in front of them, under their eyes – yet they (you my audience) are barely anything but a phantasm to me at this moment.  What kind of contortions I might make, an affected style.  I’d wince under any spotlight, and all the more so when greeted with an applause – smiling through the pain with a bad conscience.

I can’t say if any of this is true.

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