An argument might be too much, I suppose it was more of a dispute, and maybe then, not even that. It was the worst kind of confrontation or disagreement – one over the internet, and against a mod of all people. I knew I could be silenced and my post deleted if I pressed him too hard. I thought I’d toe the line, keep things very neutral and be as accommodating as possible. I felt he came back at me with a brashness.
I thought people must be moderators for different reasons. Some I suppose like to see discussion bloom. Others I’d imagine desire to enforce. I deleted my posts and left, a little forlorn and feeling a little defeated. I thought “this is no place for dialogue,” and I left what might have otherwise been a rather amicable group of people, thinking “this is no place for me”.
Maybe it all sounds a little pompous, and maybe still reeling from the incident I desire to paint myself in a favourable light. Maybe I should have just said, I had an argument and I’m feeling a little down… a little angered and little hurt. At the same time, after an argument, I never want to give my opponent, or the one hurt me that much credit. I think in some way: “I shall overcome you,” and indeed I will.
Opening my thoughts to the world – at the moment to no one really – proves therapeutic. Like a balm or a salve, writing does me good.
Adieu dear friends.