A Little Summary, and a Little Lackluster

June 15, 2018

We’ll, I’ve reached the end of one year. Packing up, I thought to myself that working life was a rather poor bargain… that after one year, I didn’t really have a great deal to show for it.  I wondered whether I improved myself in any significant or substantive way… and I couldn’t really say that…

Anxious

June 4, 2018

I’ve spent a fair bit of time deliberating on whether I should go to some social event.  It’s interesting how I phrase it really… as “whether I should go”.  Of course, I suppose I really should… it does almost seem obligatory.  And of course… if I then entertain the question – which barely needs to…

A Clearing?

June 4, 2018

I can’t even tell if I’m at impasse anymore – I only feel a little nervous tension in my gut. I think of what I must prepare for… whether I must prepare for it… and in the back of my mind I have to admit, I do think about fleeing the whole situation.  Once again,…

A Little Forlorn

May 30, 2018

I’m in something of a sour mood.  I’m writing from my desk, my “work desk” I suppose… and although I so often feel that there can be no true words written here… or that the words that I do write fall lifeless to the ground… I still feel like writing. I don’t exactly know what…

An Impasse

May 26, 2018

I don’t know I’ve reached something of an impasse.  I don’t if I’ll quietly come to an impasse, find myself conflicted, and out of inertia or indolence, find myself going down the past of least resistance.  I don’t mean to feel sorry for myself, althoughit often sounds like I am constantly moping when writing here.…

Marionnette

May 3, 2018

I know I’m terribly abused here.  Every time I leave, I realize how badly I needed to get away.  Not long after leaving the grounds I come to my senses, and begin to see with a little more clarity.  I wake up to my rights in some way and realize what I’ve missed.  I question…

A Day Without Internet

April 21, 2018

I’m once again reminded that the internet – the great bastion of freedom – is not so free.  I’m typing behind the Great Firewall at the moment with a connection that can barely go above 40kB/s.  I remember once being amazed at those speeds about twenty years ago. Things really aren’t so bad here, but…

A Little Desultory

April 18, 2018

It’s been quite a while.  I don’t know why it’s taken so long to write, especially since I rather liked what I’d written before… I’ve thought of a few things in the intervening time.  Poignantly, I thought to myself, after laughing lightheartedly and enjoying a rather tender moment, that even in these tender moments I…

A Few Scattered Thoughts

April 6, 2018

It’s a little late at night – not too late, but… relatively late. There’s noise in the next room over.  I wonder whether it’s tied to the events of the day and my mind turns a little.  I think, perhaps it is, but, I shouldn’t be concerned with these things. I thought today that I…

A Little Limp

April 6, 2018

I thought earlier of sharing this website with one close to me, but I’ve since pulled back – at least for now. I was contacted earlier by a close friend, and my response was rather cheerful.  The friend enquired how I was, and I communicated how things were “on the up and up” and that…

Vespers

March 31, 2018

I feel a little lonely at the moment.  It’s strange being so far away from those that are closest to me, that provide me with a sense of self and some stability.  I see and remember myself and who I am partly through their eyes, and their expectations of me, which has I suppose been…

Reminiscing

March 25, 2018

I should get down do it. Really, there isn’t too much pressing at the moment, but there is a fair bit of work looming on the horizon.  I’ll get it done in good time, although I may drag my ass I suppose.  I’m tired of giving over so much of myself, and I know… or…

A Rather Aimless Post

March 24, 2018

I wonder if I’m allowed to say such things… [In response to previous title] I thought earlier about sharing my website with a few close friends, but I wonder how that might alter the trajectory of this project.  To be free, or to simply say outrageous things… that’s not entirely the goal. By the way,…

Cuntsplash, or A Letter to My Future Employer

March 22, 2018

Manic – I’m a little… yes… fucking manic.  I can’t say who I am, and I wonder how that question even enters or becomes liminal. There are still things I can’t say here, which is a G-ddamned shame.  It’s a little poignant as well, and maybe something of a social comment.  I’m prevented from saying…

Searchin’

March 18, 2018

It’s about time that I get down to it… and begin to productive… set myself up for the week and ease a transition to those sweet two days of relative freedom. I need to calm myself somewhat.  I’ve always been troubled, and when thinking about that fact today early on, it helped to ease my…

A Little Summary, and a Little Lackluster

June 15, 2018

Anxious

June 4, 2018

A Clearing?

June 4, 2018

A Little Forlorn

May 30, 2018

An Impasse

May 26, 2018

Marionnette

May 3, 2018

A Day Without Internet

April 21, 2018

A Little Desultory

April 18, 2018

A Few Scattered Thoughts

April 6, 2018

A Little Limp

April 6, 2018

Vespers

March 31, 2018

Reminiscing

March 25, 2018

A Rather Aimless Post

March 24, 2018

Cuntsplash, or A Letter to My Future Employer

March 22, 2018

Searchin’

March 18, 2018

Vespers

By Anaxagoras | March 31, 2018

I feel a little lonely at the moment.  It’s strange being so far away from those that are closest to me, that provide me with a sense of self and some stability.  I see and remember myself and who I am partly through their eyes, and their expectations of me, which has I suppose been…

Reminiscing

By Anaxagoras | March 25, 2018

I should get down do it. Really, there isn’t too much pressing at the moment, but there is a fair bit of work looming on the horizon.  I’ll get it done in good time, although I may drag my ass I suppose.  I’m tired of giving over so much of myself, and I know… or…

A Rather Aimless Post

By Anaxagoras | March 24, 2018

I wonder if I’m allowed to say such things… [In response to previous title] I thought earlier about sharing my website with a few close friends, but I wonder how that might alter the trajectory of this project.  To be free, or to simply say outrageous things… that’s not entirely the goal. By the way,…

Cuntsplash, or A Letter to My Future Employer

By Anaxagoras | March 22, 2018

Manic – I’m a little… yes… fucking manic.  I can’t say who I am, and I wonder how that question even enters or becomes liminal. There are still things I can’t say here, which is a G-ddamned shame.  It’s a little poignant as well, and maybe something of a social comment.  I’m prevented from saying…

Searchin’

By Anaxagoras | March 18, 2018

It’s about time that I get down to it… and begin to productive… set myself up for the week and ease a transition to those sweet two days of relative freedom. I need to calm myself somewhat.  I’ve always been troubled, and when thinking about that fact today early on, it helped to ease my…

A Little Update

By Anaxagoras | March 17, 2018

Carrying on, counting down the days – soon I’ll be out of here, and thankful to be done. I wonder if I’m not spending too much time here.  If I’m not giving good years of my life to some unfeeling monster once again.  I’m getting older and I see it everyday. “Name your price” I…

Dear Brothers

By Anaxagoras | March 11, 2018

I once saw myself as a world historical individual – fated to be a world historical individual.  I think now on whether I’ll die alone.  I wonder how the change happened – I really do.  I thought all the stars were aligned for me to be something great.  I thought to myself before, whether a…

Some Thoughts at Night

By Anaxagoras | March 8, 2018

It’s a little late – not terribly late. I think – everyone has a story to tell, and I wonder if I’m self absorbed writing here.  I wonder what the project is… Originally the project was to be honest, to have an outlet, to write for an unknown audience, and simply speak… to attempt to…

The Day Wags On

By Anaxagoras | March 7, 2018

The day wags on.  Back into the swing of things.  I was nearly manic last week – things were going quite well.  I’ve hit something of a stumbling block and it seems everything rubs me the wrong way.  I don’t feel particularly confident in the moment – maybe that’s it.  I suppose things really aren’t…

One More Day

By Anaxagoras | February 25, 2018

One more day and the restlessness grows… restlessness and anxiety.  I think about whittling down the remaining time here, and when I’ll be free.  I’m nervous about the approaching week.  I question my base of knowledge and competency, and my ability to bring forth and communicate the curriculum.  There are perhaps rather mundane matters a…