A Little Summary, and a Little Lackluster

June 15, 2018

We’ll, I’ve reached the end of one year. Packing up, I thought to myself that working life was a rather poor bargain… that after one year, I didn’t really have a great deal to show for it.  I wondered whether I improved myself in any significant or substantive way… and I couldn’t really say that…

Anxious

June 4, 2018

I’ve spent a fair bit of time deliberating on whether I should go to some social event.  It’s interesting how I phrase it really… as “whether I should go”.  Of course, I suppose I really should… it does almost seem obligatory.  And of course… if I then entertain the question – which barely needs to…

A Clearing?

June 4, 2018

I can’t even tell if I’m at impasse anymore – I only feel a little nervous tension in my gut. I think of what I must prepare for… whether I must prepare for it… and in the back of my mind I have to admit, I do think about fleeing the whole situation.  Once again,…

A Little Forlorn

May 30, 2018

I’m in something of a sour mood.  I’m writing from my desk, my “work desk” I suppose… and although I so often feel that there can be no true words written here… or that the words that I do write fall lifeless to the ground… I still feel like writing. I don’t exactly know what…

An Impasse

May 26, 2018

I don’t know I’ve reached something of an impasse.  I don’t if I’ll quietly come to an impasse, find myself conflicted, and out of inertia or indolence, find myself going down the past of least resistance.  I don’t mean to feel sorry for myself, althoughit often sounds like I am constantly moping when writing here.…

Marionnette

May 3, 2018

I know I’m terribly abused here.  Every time I leave, I realize how badly I needed to get away.  Not long after leaving the grounds I come to my senses, and begin to see with a little more clarity.  I wake up to my rights in some way and realize what I’ve missed.  I question…

A Day Without Internet

April 21, 2018

I’m once again reminded that the internet – the great bastion of freedom – is not so free.  I’m typing behind the Great Firewall at the moment with a connection that can barely go above 40kB/s.  I remember once being amazed at those speeds about twenty years ago. Things really aren’t so bad here, but…

A Little Desultory

April 18, 2018

It’s been quite a while.  I don’t know why it’s taken so long to write, especially since I rather liked what I’d written before… I’ve thought of a few things in the intervening time.  Poignantly, I thought to myself, after laughing lightheartedly and enjoying a rather tender moment, that even in these tender moments I…

A Few Scattered Thoughts

April 6, 2018

It’s a little late at night – not too late, but… relatively late. There’s noise in the next room over.  I wonder whether it’s tied to the events of the day and my mind turns a little.  I think, perhaps it is, but, I shouldn’t be concerned with these things. I thought today that I…

A Little Limp

April 6, 2018

I thought earlier of sharing this website with one close to me, but I’ve since pulled back – at least for now. I was contacted earlier by a close friend, and my response was rather cheerful.  The friend enquired how I was, and I communicated how things were “on the up and up” and that…

Vespers

March 31, 2018

I feel a little lonely at the moment.  It’s strange being so far away from those that are closest to me, that provide me with a sense of self and some stability.  I see and remember myself and who I am partly through their eyes, and their expectations of me, which has I suppose been…

Reminiscing

March 25, 2018

I should get down do it. Really, there isn’t too much pressing at the moment, but there is a fair bit of work looming on the horizon.  I’ll get it done in good time, although I may drag my ass I suppose.  I’m tired of giving over so much of myself, and I know… or…

A Rather Aimless Post

March 24, 2018

I wonder if I’m allowed to say such things… [In response to previous title] I thought earlier about sharing my website with a few close friends, but I wonder how that might alter the trajectory of this project.  To be free, or to simply say outrageous things… that’s not entirely the goal. By the way,…

Cuntsplash, or A Letter to My Future Employer

March 22, 2018

Manic – I’m a little… yes… fucking manic.  I can’t say who I am, and I wonder how that question even enters or becomes liminal. There are still things I can’t say here, which is a G-ddamned shame.  It’s a little poignant as well, and maybe something of a social comment.  I’m prevented from saying…

Searchin’

March 18, 2018

It’s about time that I get down to it… and begin to productive… set myself up for the week and ease a transition to those sweet two days of relative freedom. I need to calm myself somewhat.  I’ve always been troubled, and when thinking about that fact today early on, it helped to ease my…

A Little Summary, and a Little Lackluster

June 15, 2018

Anxious

June 4, 2018

A Clearing?

June 4, 2018

A Little Forlorn

May 30, 2018

An Impasse

May 26, 2018

Marionnette

May 3, 2018

A Day Without Internet

April 21, 2018

A Little Desultory

April 18, 2018

A Few Scattered Thoughts

April 6, 2018

A Little Limp

April 6, 2018

Vespers

March 31, 2018

Reminiscing

March 25, 2018

A Rather Aimless Post

March 24, 2018

Cuntsplash, or A Letter to My Future Employer

March 22, 2018

Searchin’

March 18, 2018

My False Affected Style

By Anaxagoras | February 2, 2017

How can it be that I’m left silent?  How can it be that there are no words for the moment?  Sometimes silence is preferable, but other times, it’s the forum. My false affected style, and a desire to simply spill upon the page.  To be more chaotic, and more thorough and methodical – to take on…

Trudeau Abandons Electoral Reform

By Anaxagoras | February 1, 2017

The newly appointed Democratic Institutions Minister Karina Gould rises to the pulpit.  Intoning, with what one can only imagine to be a feigned sincerity, she begins her rather shameful speech.   With a solemn declaration surrounding the importance of the decision her party has just made, she begins:  “Our electoral system is foundational to our democracy.…

Push Deeper into the Night

By Anaxagoras | January 31, 2017

Push deeper into the night.  I’d like to lose myself in some delirium.  This website becomes the boneyard for misbegotten, half-baked thoughts and tiny discourses which maybe… just maybe… should never have been uttered in the first place.  I continue to type because I feel I’ve lost myself somewhat already.  I’m happy to write –…

Thoughts on Building the Website

By Anaxagoras | January 31, 2017

I spend my time working away at this website – tweaking design styles and making small modifications, and in the end find that I have little time to write.  But things are going well.  I enjoy my time with it, and am picking up some html. The site becomes a forum whether I like it…

Es gibt kein Recht auf Nazi Propaganda

By Anaxagoras | January 30, 2017

Es gibt kein Recht auf Nazi Propaganda. In this post I’d like to draw a comparison, perhaps a rather uncomfortable and – depending on your political views or sympathies – a rather outlandish one.   I watched a video on YouTube the other day.  My news feed is cluttered with fights between exotic animals, salacious…

To Make the Site a Constant Project

By Anaxagoras | January 29, 2017

To make the site a constant project.  To not abandon the idea that this site will have as its mission the goal of self exploration in front of, or before a public eye.  To continue to search – as the domain name enjoins – for an honest word.  And so here lies the project.  How…

So You’ve Stumbled Upon this Blog

By Anaxagoras | January 27, 2017

My apologies first and foremost.  You are perhaps wondering: what is this?  These are the ramblings of an individual behind a desk, in a particular time and place, looking for meaning or some kind of answer to the question: whither, whereto, what for?

My Imagined Audience

By Anaxagoras | January 27, 2017

There’s perhaps something comical, in spending so much time writing about my imagined audience at a time when this site isn’t yet properly indexed or searchable through any major search engine. Yet you are present to me, I must say.  I see you and I feel your eyes.  Even now I can hear your laughter.…

Why I Used to Write

By Anaxagoras | January 27, 2017

I think I used to write to see if I could – to see if I had a voice or sounded any different from my peers.  In short I suppose: to see what I could come up with. The first time I wrote, or really felt the power of the written word was as a…

I’m Happy to Have a Blog

By Anaxagoras | January 27, 2017

I’m happy to have a place where I can write, a forum where I can reveal myself and open up my thoughts to the world. At the same time, I’m worried about how I may internalize expectations.  Writing before any audience, even an imagined audience, I can imagine myself conforming to expectations.  I think of…