Push Deeper into the Night

Push deeper into the night.  I’d like to lose myself in some delirium.  This website becomes the boneyard for misbegotten, half-baked thoughts and tiny discourses which maybe… just maybe… should never have been uttered in the first place.  I continue to type because I feel I’ve lost myself somewhat already.  I’m happy to write – this comes out as an exaltation to an unknown God.  In the next moment I look and struggle to find the words.  I can’t say where I am, but find myself here anyways.  I can’t say where I am.

I search.  For what I don’t know.  I think one can approach this statement with deep melancholy or with a sense of humour and lightheartedness.  “My whole life is irony” I once heard someone say.  But of course, what a release this must also be.  To find no meaning in… to barely know where to begin in such a quest.  Where our own will to truth undercuts its own foundations.  Taking the Enlightenment imperative and drinking this intoxicating brew to its very dregs.  What is left, but to sup on the flesh.  There is no sustenance here, no nourishment in the flesh.  You eat and become a shadow; are a spectre; hollowed out in body and spirit.  There is nothing left.  Only to wander for another day. 

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