To make the site a constant project. To not abandon the idea that this site will have as its mission the goal of self exploration in front of, or before a public eye. To continue to search – as the domain name enjoins – for an honest word. And so here lies the project. How could the well run dry? How could I ever force the word? If I did, well, there it is once again, a call to reflect.
I thought earlier, even with four posts, that this site was already becoming something like an established or fixed forum for my thoughts. That I would sit down to write a particular kind of text for this site, that I would come with a particular mood or disposition and begin to write in a familiar tone. That my style itself would be an affected style and even foreign to me. That I would come to hate it, and in virtue of this, the site itself.
But here, the constant rejoinder, to search… yes… it doesn’t need to be said again. And so my spirits are lifted a little.
I once wrote “dear brothers” in a journal of mine – a journal I had never intended anyone else to read, and a journal I had never intended to publish. Yet I spoke to them – this fictitious group – with a full heart and with the intention to bare all. My brothers – how forgiving and how demanding they must be.